Book review- The Coven: Making Magick Together by Fiona Horne

The Coven: Making Magick Together

By Fiona Horne

Publisher: Random House Australia, 2003

ISBN:1-74051-232-4

Review by SunVenus, a.k.a. Rachael M. Roth

Edited by Je Reviens
Originally posted on What to Read on October 26th 2006

Wise minds often quote an old saw: “Never judge a book by its cover.” For the most part, this is very good advice. Outward appearances are often a poor indicator of inner qualities, whether of a literal book or a person or anything else. However, in the case of Fiona Horne’s The Coven: Making Magick Together, the cover serves as a blatant indicator of the sugar-coated, fanciful pap contained within.

This gooey, pink-covered book shows a lounging, overly-made up, leather-skinned Horne on a white fur rug, over a hazy photo of the author dancing in a circle with her covenmates. It is gag-worthy, and the vomit impulse doesn’t diminish when you turn the book over -- the back cover has cutesy-wootsey pink starry-sparkles all over it, highlighting the combination author’s blurb/book promo which is more of Horne’s usual self-serving, Hollywood-wannabe posturing. Random House has placed this book in the “new age/inspirational” category and with this I agree. The Coven is newagey to the point of scoring nearly off the charts on the woo-woo scale, and only inspirational in that it inspires one to a) puke, and b) decide to do one’s very best to never put money in this silly twit’s pocket.

Inside, things get much, much worse.

The cover makes it obvious this book is being targeted to the alienated, teenybopper girl market -- those impressionable and easily influenced kids looking for some way in which to rebel and be just a little bit naughty. Shamefully, Horne’s advice doesn’t direct these kids to a decent source of truth about Witchcraft, Wicca or Pagan paths at all, and wouldn’t appeal to those more serious youngsters who are called at an early age to explore alternative spirituality and the fascinating worlds of the numinous.

I could go through and list point-by-point Horne’s copious errors, self-serving antics, name-dropping tripe and flat out nonsensical UPGs (Unverifiable/Unsubstantiated Personal Gnosis) rendered as actual Witchcraft lore. But then this review would turn into something else -- an exegesis on why has-been singers and “z” grade celebrities should stick to making silly TV shows and leave the real work of writing about the mysteries to those who have some decent experience, who adhere to some sort of ethical standard, and who have the integrity to take responsibility for what they teach. For the sake of length, I will merely touch on some of the ugliest highlights in this silly book -- a few examples to keep all but the fluffiest of bunnies away from this self-aggrandizing collection of words.

Horne’s first hypocrisy assaults the reader immediately: “…I grappled with [writing this book] for a while, wondering if it was appropriate to be so open about what is essentially an occult spiritual tradition (the dictionary definition of ’occult’ is ‘hidden and secret’). I wondered if whether I was contributing to the dissolution of [Paganism’s] essence -- making it too available and even trivialising it?” (pg. 2)

Horne goes on to justify doing exactly that by saying she has had “positive feedback,” but when one views the overall package, when one sees the way that Horne milks the Hollywood-Witchcraft fad, her hypocrisy -- a tradition that is becoming all too prominent in publishing circles -- is glaring.Horne seems blissfully unaware that real Witches, Wiccans and Pagans aren’t following various Pagan/magick paths to look “kewl” or to make a statement: “Witchcraft is not a fashion statement -- it’s a spirit statement.” (pg. 11) Apparently Horne’s cutesy comment applies only to the masses, but doesn’t apply to overblown playgan loudmouths such as Horne, Laurie Cabot, Silver Ravenwolf, Konstantinos, and others of that ilk. Is she afraid that the fluffies who that dress up in ridiculous garb are gonna “out-witch” her?

In magick and the Craft, your Word and your Will is your bond. Certainly, anyone may change their mind, but Horne constantly back-pedals and reverses herself. I can hardly bear the hypocrisy of Horne, a former cast member of “Mad, Mad World” and “Australian Celebrity Survivor: Vanuatu” criticizing “Survivor” and reality television in general: “My agents were saying that everyone is so desensitised from the onslaught of reality shows like ‘Fear Factor’and ‘Survivor’ that [the public has] a hyper concept of what is real.” (page 245)

Yes, those shows are so evil according to Horne and her agents… that is, until Horne is broke and desperate for attention. Then she appears on the exact type of shows she decries. Oh yes indeed, reality television is so very bad in Horne’s estimation that she pouts and is in a snit for days when she is one of the first people voted off of “Australian Celebrity Survivor: Vanuatu.” If the reality genre is so bad, then why the sour grapes from Horne at losing? And why is she making a career of appearing on such shows?

Yet another example more hypocrisy on the part of Fiona Horne: “Being an unconventional Witch, I am an atheist.” (pg. 95) But on the episode of “Australian Celebrity Survivor: Vanuatu” where she is evicted ... she suddenly becomes a religious witch, saying that “I always leave an offering for the gods”. (Australian Celebrity Survivor: Vanuatu Episode 4)

If Horne isn’t secure enough in her beliefs to hold fast to certain esoteric concepts, then she should not be writing books and taking upon herself the onus of moulding minds. If Horne isn’t able to stick to one concept or belief long enough to focus, she should not be promoting herself as a teacher of the Craft. Stability, focused will and intent, and high ethical standards are the hallmarks of a good teacher, and Horne misses the mark on all counts.

This book is disgustingly full of gratuitous self-promotion: “…check out the forums on different websites. Mine has a very active forum and there are links to lots of other Australian-based Witchy websites…” (pg. 217) Yet a sampling of the letters from her forum in this chapter shows that most people who post there are seemingly illiterate blessed wannabes. The letters are full of poorly written, fanciful comments, spelling affectations and netspeak, and overall the tenor of most of the quoted posts are those of teenagers looking for faddish ways to impress their friends, rather than rational, adult-minded seekers looking to explore their spirituality. If that is a sampling of the sort of people Horne – as a teacher and public figurehead -- finds suitable for the craft, then she needs a serious wake up call.

Horne does not seem to understand that name-dropping and celebrity pals don’t make you a real Witch (or even an impressive person for that matter). Her celebrity fetish is unrelenting and reads like a teenager’s dream diary. I shan’t quote her, but examples can be found on page 21, pages 50-52, page 241, page 246, pages 260- 263. Ick. On those pages, Horne speaks of her visit to Crispin Glover’s house (page 50), or her spell-casting with Danni Minogue (page 263), or her glimpse of Madonna at the local new age store (page 21), amongst other celebrity naming games used merely to titillate star-struck people, and apparently Horne herself.

Witchcraft and the various Pagan paths and mystery traditions aren’t about whom you know, they are about what you do -- orthopraxy rather than orthodoxy (but those polysyllabic terms are likely beyond Horne’s range of understanding). Like, celebrity worship is soooo like juvenile, like, ya know? Does anyone have the feeling that Horne plasters the walls of her room with pictures of celebrities torn out of Teen Beat and People magazines?

In addition to the most blatant errors about Wicca and Witchcraft that Horne includes -- coven members should not “be friends” or otherwise associate with each other outside the coven (pp. 46-47) (although later in the book she suggests a coven “movie night”); same-sex covens are superior to mixed gender covens due to an alleged lack of “sexual tension” (pg. 45); misperceptions about the Great Rite (pp. 209-210) -- Horne also makes moronic statements like: “I have a lot of respect for Traditional Covens, though I don’t relate to the hierarchical attitude that some have.” (pg. 39)

If Horne doesn’t like hierarchies, why does she claim to be the “leader” of her coven? She claims her “leadership” is based on being “the most knowledgeable,” but that is still a hierarchy. Horne also obviously has a misguided idea of what hierarchy means (the correct definition can be found here), and has probably had a bad experience or two with some of the less than scrupulous occult opportunists’ “covens” that seem to thrive these days. (Nauseatingly enough, this book of half-truths and misinformation is just going to contribute towards breeding more bad groups.) Horne seems to think that in traditional covens, only the leaders contribute. This is untrue. The job, the duty of the leader of a “Traditional Coven” is to teach, and that means hands-on participation from all the members. There are no free rides, and no vicarious experiences.

Appallingly, Horne uses fiction to back up her silly ideas about Witchcraft. For example, she cites the fictional but entertaining book Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel as the source for her suggestion that covens of differing traditions come together every summer, just like the Neanderthal tribes did in the Auel book (although they met every seven years, not every summer). (pg. 46) Whilst it is a nice idea, Horne is confused -- gatherings like this already take place in the Wiccan/Neo-Wiccan/Witchcraft/Pagan/Neopagan world in many countries and all over the world.

Horne also thinks that, like the gatherings Auel refers to in her fiction, Witches and Wiccans should congregate for the purpose of “mixing up the blood.” Is she suggesting that all traditions should eventually merge into one mindless, massive, skipping-and-hand-holding new age commune? So much for diversity, and the sanctity of small tribal family groups that are one of the most delightful features of real Wicca and legitimate Witchcraft.

Oddly, Horne feels qualified to advise using “sun signs” as a way to screen potential coven members: “It is worth noting people’s sun/star signs and ascertaining the likelihood of unproductive friction.” (pg. 57)

Horne makes the newbie mistake of assuming that all 6 billion humans on this globe fall into precisely one of twelve patterns of action. According to Horne, at least two of out every thirteen people will act exactly the same way and have exactly the same traits. Using a professional quality natal workup on prospective coven members is useful, but that is beyond Horne’s level of skill.

In astrology, a natal chart is cast using the birth date, birth time, and longitude and latitude of the location of where the subject was born. This provides a far more detailed picture as there are plants, houses, aspects, fixed stars, asteroids and other calculations that help pinpoint traits and patterns -- a picture that is individual and unique for that person. (Even twins are born on average of two to four minutes apart, if not more, and that can mean a difference in degree of rising sign which puts a whole new spin on personality traits.)

But Horne, in her limited understanding of astrology goes on to babble: “For example I couldn’t bear to be in a Coven that had two female Leos in close quarters -- argh! -- or two Scorpio males.” In essence, Horne is discriminating against potentially wonderful coven mates simply because she has no understanding of astrology. She does go on to mention rising signs and such, but instead of recommending good sources for astrological study, she suggests Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs, which has little to do with real astrology and the depths to which it can go.

One more point -- astrology aside, part of being in a coven is learning to work with others. In covens - and in regular life as well – people that start out on seemingly opposite sides of the fence may grow to agree and learn from one another, or at least learn to agree to disagree with grace and respect. Horne’s message is, “my way or the highway” based on an extremely biased and limited point of view. The person she discriminates against next could easily be you simply because you aren’t born under a sun sign that she favours.

Because Horne chooses a vegetarian lifestyle, she also extrapolates that all Witches must ascribe to her dietary views: “But most Witches I know have very particular attitudes to the meat they eat.” (pg. 233) Horne really needs a larger circle of witchy associates. Witchcraft and the various paths and mystery traditions under the Pagan label usually don’t have much to do with what one eats. There are plenty of Christians, Muslims and Jews as well as people with no path/religion at all who also choose not to eat at McDonalds, and plenty of Witches, Wiccans and Neo-Wiccans who choose to ingest things that aren’t so healthy (like loads of processed food, or drugs and alcohol to excess). By promoting her views on veganism/vegetarianism as part of the Craft, Horne is trying to both politicize and police a generation of children that she really has no business speaking to. Parents are the ones who get to educate their kids on proper eating habits, not some fluffy hack-tress who is seemingly into Witchcraft merely as a gimmick to pimp her Hollywood image.

Most astonishingly, Horne is also obviously confused about the Wiccan Rede. She writes, erroneously, that the “Wiccan Rede” is “To Know, To Dare, To Will, To Be Silent.” (pg. 209) Wrong again! Apparently, in Horne’s world of glitter and McWicca, all ceremonial magicians, all Freemasons, or all people who follow that four step tenet are Wiccans. What she is mislabelling at the Wiccan Rede is actually a common axiom in magick and esoteric orders, not specifically that of witches (although it has recently been labelled “The Witches Pyramid”).

The real Wiccan Rede has a few forms, all of them revolving around the bottom line: “an it harm none, do what ye will.” Contrary to popular belief, the various Wiccan Redes do not apply to all witches or even all Wiccans for that matter -- different traditions have different ethical tenets. (For an in-depth look at the various Wiccan redes, their history and usage, please visit this terrific website).

Horne also slams Traditional Wicca, making this ignorant and dismissive statement: “It’s true that some traditional Covens are very pedantic about doing things ‘by the book.’ Covens whose practices are derivative of Gardnerian or Alexandrian traditions are an example. However as I have made clear in this book, an Eclectic Coven is one that is more fluid and versatile and relies on the input of the individual members…” (pg. 223) Stating that so-called “Eclectic Covens” are somehow better that British Traditional covens because they are allegedly “fluid,” “versatile,” and listen to “the input of the individual members” is obnoxious and highly misleading. There are plenty of eclectic covens that are dictatorial and that have been set up as nothing more than mini “cults of personality” for the leaders’ ego-gratification. In addition, far too many so-called “eclectic” groups -- in their urge to be ever so open and fluid -- are in fact directionless, lose focus too easily, and frequently cause their members to develop bad habits that need to be unlearned later.

As far as it is known, Horne is not Gardnerian, Alexandrian, Mohsian or any sort of British Traditional Wiccan, so how would she know what is done at their rituals, or in their lore and training? (No, reading about what someone “thinks” these folks do does not make up for her utter lack of knowledge in these traditions. The only way to know what the Gards, Lexies, et al do is to be accepted for training & initiation with a coven and actually go though the process. Even descriptions of some wiccan-flavoured ideas given by initiates of Wicca in no way replaces the process of working and learning in those egregores and that specific current.)

Traditional covens are versatile in many ways, and they do listen to the input of all their members, facts Horne might know were she actually trained in a Traditional coven. Colouring the newcomer’s mind to the idea that “traditions are bad and limiting and stifling” (which is an outright lie) is a tool that new age/occult/playgan hucksters use to sell their books. After all, if their readers find a home in a structured group or Traditional coven, they will be less likely to waste money on irresponsible “anything goes” books like this one -- books that encourage people to believe that any whim that floats into the reader’s head is to be labelled as “good” or “Wiccan,” even though it may be a bad idea, or clearly not Wiccan.

And finally, Horne’s snotty comments are not restricted to Traditional covens and their members. She also makes several rude statements about Americans. For example: “…as they love talking about themselves they assume that everyone else does too!” Considering Horne lives in the US, she tries to keep this statement from being wholly offensive with a parenthetical qualification: “(I’m not bagging Americans -- I love them and I love living here -- but they are what they are!)” (pg. 23) but it doesn’t work. It is Horne who loves to talk about herself. Pot-kettle-black. And that comment about how Horne loves Americans is very reminiscent of the phrase other bigots use when they are insulting a particular race/religion/etc. but don’t want to be considered a bigot. But as Horne says, you are what you are.

For some reason, Horne decides to paint all Americans as not only loud talking, insensitive braggarts, but as completely humourless too: “Most Americans don’t have much of a sense of humour (well, they certainly don’t get the Aussie touch of ‘taking the piss’)…” (pg. 53)

That is an amazingly rude statement. As an American living in Australia for over five years now*, I will say that the Aussie sense of humour is wonderfully irreverent -- then again, so is the American sense of humour. Horne has an unfortunate attitude I have found in a tiny minority of Aussie Pagans. They are vocally, stridently, anti-American, yet they flock to American movies, TV, books, music, scientific advances, etc. all the while putting Yanks down. It isn’t a common attitude, but it is annoying, especially when it comes from someone like Horne who spends most of her time in Los Angeles, California, USA, sucking up to the Hollywood crowd.

All in all, I would advise everyone to avoid this book for anything but a laugh, or for advanced students to use as an exercise in pointing out dangerous and stupid errors. I certainly wouldn’t purchase it. If you want to see it for some reason, get it at the library -- don’t contribute to this woman’s income. As an author, Horne is self-obsessed, as a “Witch” she is juvenile and misinformed, and as a teacher she is unethical and lacking in the basic skills needed to convey the concepts of the numinous in any meaningful way to anyone with an IQ over that of a doorknob. This book may be suitable as a coaster or a doorstop or perhaps shredded and used to shore up gullies on farms to prevent erosion. Read it at your own risk, and have some headache tablets handy for the saccharine-induced pains you will surely suffer.

Rating: Craptacular. Total BS. Avoid like the plague.

* I had been in Oz for just over five years at the time I first published this review. I’ve now been here almost eight years. My observations remain the same—the Aussie sense of humour and the American sense of humour aren’t so far apart, and the sad, tiny minority of anti-American Ozzies is still being as distasteful as ever whilst latching onto anything American that benefits them. Then again, there are “anti” [insert race, religion, country name, or political or sexual orientation or whatnot here] in every country I’ve been to, which is a few. Fortunately, they are almost always the minority, and speak only for a small handful of the populace.

One more update:Juliaki has also written an article on the problems with Fiona Horne. To see more of why Horne is a fluffy menace to neo-paganism, please visit this site.

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Copyright 2006 by Rachael M. Roth for Manifestation Publications, a division of Infinite Stars Designs (ABN #30 646 269 206 NSW Australia). All rights reserved. Do not repost or replicate this review in any form without the express written permission of the author. Copyright updated Dec 6th 2008 for publication on The Magick Word and Paganism Australia. To contact the author, please send an email to la235 @ hotmail.com (remove the spaces to email).